The topic of being in an abusive relationships doesn’t come up in most conversations. It’s similar to a dirty little secret that no one wants to talk about.
Unfortunately, the victim often suffers in silence; fearful of possible repurcussions if she says anything. Even worse is when she does speak out and the situation is down-played by friends and family members who think she is might be over reacting.
What other people fail to understand is how continued abusive and controlling behavior changes the victim. Slowly over time, their self-esteem is slowly eroded until there is not enough fight in them to leave. When we try to understand the various dynamics of abusive relationships we can help the victim, and those who care about her, recognize and better understand what is going on.
Abuse isn’t just physical. Psychological abuse is a form of abuse that occurs slowly over time as the victim’s feelings, needs, thoughts and preferences are belittled by the abuser until the she is held emotionally captive.
Many women spend years in an abusive situation that would shock outsiders. Some stay in their marriage hoping their husband will change, while others stay for financial reasonns, or for the children. At some point, most women will contemplate divorce and struggle with their decision. There are some additional clues that you might be headed for divorce that you can read about here.
While the victims of domestic violence often bear the physical and emotional scars of the abuse, it is important to remember that children are also affected. Even when a divorce is final, the abuser may continue to try to control his victim or at least make sure she never forgets him.
If you are contemplating divorce, or have any questions about the process and how
Peter J. Fiorella, Jr. & Associates can help you,
please call us at (716) 200-1380